choices

i always thought that maybe it was that God wanted me to see and be faced with the depth of my inequities. but im just not sure that sounds like God anymore. and maybe that was just a cop out so i didnt have to deal with my compromise. maybe its time to stop staring down my sinful nature and look straight to the Throne of God. maybe i can be on the path of life and not be focused on my destination. ok so maybe God is not going to take away my loneliness? i am forced to face that possibility. what if He has a different plan... one i cant even begin to understand? am i willing to follow Him anyway? will i leave everything, will i leave behind the world... to follow Him? will i lose my life? i think the answer must be found in my choices... my actions... my life. its one thing to beg for forgiveness in dark times and it is a whole other thing to walk out righteousness in the light. to do the right thing even when you feel like doing the wrong one.