sometimes when you have no courage on your own, you will find, admist diversity, one with courage to share. and when the weather is lukewarm, and your heart is cold, in the pale light of the dimming sunset the whispers of stars speak of things yet unknown. im trying so hard to be somebody, to live a life of meaning and purpose. sometimes i just get sad because how short i have fallen. why cant i just be happy? why must i always be the leaky facuet? i sat here tonight and i told myself... "im going to write about what God says about me"... i just didnt have anything to say. and i tried so hard to write it... but i didnt believe what i was writing. and then i was ashamed of myself... because if i cant even take that step where am i going to start. i am so ashamed to even be living. i hate to say because i am ashamed that i think it but what else am i going to say? i cant lie about who i am. what do i do? i need to be rescued because i have no where to go, no way out, no where to start. or maybe i do... i just dont understand what it is. at night i always cry out to jesus to come and change me, to come and speak to me, humble me, correct me, be with me. i beg the Lord for his mercy, peace, and joy. i petition Him for his presence, and His embrace, and His protection. what else should i do? what else should i say? am i really the one he wants? maybe tomorrow ill find out.
angela
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