Dear "friend", I am mad.

I am so angry. you see... i have come to a realization... i have found a small bit of insight in to why i get so burned out. you see... i have a whole lot of people that are counting on me showing up in their lives but none who are willing to take the time in the effort to show up in mine. and im FURIOUS!! i get to hang out with you because i drive you somewhere, help you with your homework or your job, or just make the effort to stop by your place. i get to hang out with you because im involved in the lives of your whole family and i try to encourage you when you are down and i go to you where you are. i eat lunch with you where you are. and im sick of it. because when was the last time you came to my house? when was the last time you said... hmmm... i wonder if angela needs some encouragement let me call her up and ask her how her day is going? what does angela need from me? what is my part of this relationship? when was the last time you ate dinner with my family? all i need is someone to show me some stinkin tlc! but no one even takes the time to think about it. well thanks for everything peeps... you're freaking sucking me dry.

angela

*please note: i was just released from a psychiatric hospital yesterday. i am feeling kind of angry right now because no one really took the time to visit me, no one sent me a get well card, and most certainly no one has given me a hug. and there were plenty of people who knew i was there. but i guess pleasantries are wasted on me, i am just fine the way i am right? no need to go out of your way. i am upset because i am hurting so bad. i am upset because i am sick out of my mind right now and i can barely move... and.... and it just comes down to this; if i stopped reaching out to you, you would be angry at first, and then you would accept that i was gone. aint nobody is gonna fight for me. they always let me make the first move.

**please also note: this "letter" is not meant for everyone, so upon reading please dont assume automatically that it is meant towards you. because then you might be someone that i am not infact mad at thinking that i am mad at you, which would not be true.

***one more note: but if you are sitting there reading this... and you feel as if you are one of "those" people... i am sorry. i wanted to be your friend, i wanted to know who you are, i wanted to love you and care for you but i cant anymore. i am just too sick.

for now,

angela