post number 24

you know how when you were little and you would get freaked out by the shadows and you would turn the light on and it would all go away. well that is how i used to feel about the darkness inside of me. as hard as it was and as low as it got it still went away sometimes... sometimes longer than others. still sunshine peeked through the rainclouds. and maybe it still is? i dont know maybe everything is still ok i am just feeling so crazy right now. have you ever been watching a scary movie and you get to like a really demented part and you feel your mind being twisted and your heart being manipulated in small, dark, and twisty shapes and its just... its just like i feel right now. like the part in the movie where the innocent slightly more modest brunette gets brutally murdered with some hook like device and the blond gets away. ok maybe not like that. something more demented. more dark, less bloody. why am i so sick?